


On a Dark and Stormy Night

by bookworm03



Category: Parks and Recreation
Genre: Angst, F/M, Murder Mystery, Party, Post-Break Up
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-23
Updated: 2016-12-23
Packaged: 2018-09-11 07:36:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,785
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8969557
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bookworm03/pseuds/bookworm03
Summary: There's a killer on the loose and Leslie drags Ben along to find out who it is. Murder Mystery AU.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Nutriyum_Addict](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nutriyum_Addict/gifts).



> Merry Christmas to the lovely Nutriyum Addict. I meant to write this AU for Halloween, but it never fully came together so it is now a Christmas present! 
> 
> I hope you guys enjoy it. Comments and kudos are amazing.

It was raining.

Of course it was raining. It was only fitting for a night like this. Ron was grumbling something about a waste of time. Tom was concerned about fake blood getting on his pocket square. April was dressed entirely in black, declaring to anyone and everyone who would listen that she had it on good authority they’d all be dead before the dawn broke.

A few well-to-do ladies looked mildly horrified and Andy just kept cackling as if it was the funniest thing he’d ever heard.

 _My wife’s the best_ he also told anyone who would listen, when one woman nearly fainted at April’s _colorful_ description of how they might meet their grizzly end.

It was just a game. Just a silly, murder mystery game at Nick Newport’s mansion with cue cards and clues and donations to charity and fun.

And Ben.

Ben was there.

He was hovering around Chris like he had when they were both just auditors new to town and didn’t have any other friends.

She was so glad Ben was there, honestly. The longer they were broken up and the further into her election she got, the more he seemed to withdraw from Pawnee...from her. And she didn’t want Ben to leave Pawnee on her account. This was his home now, he had friends and a job and yes, they had broken up but they could still be _friends_ of course. She didn’t want him to go anywhere.

So it was a nice thing that he came along to support a worthy cause.

Elizabeth and William (who planned on leaving as soon as they game started) quieted everyone down so Leslie could make her speech. She thanked everyone for coming, spoke about where their donations would be going and thanked Nick Newport for the use of his mansion. She introduced their facilitator, who took turns handing out envelopes to everyone. Across the room, Leslie caught Ben watching her. She tried to smile but he simply lowered his eyes.

Ann patted her arm when she went to stand beside her, card clutched tightly in her hands.

 _“There is a killer on the loose!”_ the facilitator’s voice changed from meek to booming and the lights flickered. Leslie shuddered, even though she knew it was all pretend. Ann stepped slightly closer to Chris and Andy laughed maniacally. Tom clutched at Ron, who shoved him off.

“ _And they walk among you_ ” he continued with a wave of his hand. “Your job is to find out who this monster is without ending up as one of the victims.”

The lights flashed again and they were all seated at the table according to the cards in their envelopes. Leslie ended up beside Ben. Well, her character did. The Duchess of Pawnee and her husband, The Duke.

Ben was The Duke.

He grumbled something under his breath and Leslie tried to offer him a friendly smile. He was annoyed. Annoyed he was stuck with her of all people when he only came to make an appearance. Annoyed at their situation and that Leslie was in his face again, when he wanted to be as far away from her as humanly possible these days.

But he’d opted to show up and he could just deal with it. He wasn’t ruining her night.

“My lord” Leslie tried in an accent. Ben snorted into his glass of wine.

“The Duchess of Pawnee is British?”

Ugh, spoilsport. Still, Leslie was resolute.

“My lord, how lovely it is to see you on this treacherous evening. I do hope the journey in wasn’t too trying.”

She almost saw his lips twitch, she’d swear later.

*****

They got through the first two courses by mostly ignoring each other. Ben talked to Chris, who’d been “married” to April (much to her chagrin). Ann was with Ron, and Elizabeth and William had made their discrete exit. Ben stabbed at a roasted potato while Chris went on and on about the _right_ types of carbohydrates.

Leslie said there is only one right type of carbohydrate - waffles - and Chris chuckled appreciatively. Ben just stabbed at another potato.

If he was going to be such a grump she hoped he got the axe first.

The sky flashed and a deafening crack of thunder caused the room to vibrate around them.

And then the power went out. A few people squeaked out of a nervous excitement. Leslie jolted in surprise and felt a firm hand on her knee.

“Is this part of it?” Ben whispered, voice low. Leslie shook her head, realizing he probably couldn’t see her at all in the pitch black. They both exhaled as the facilitator calmly explained they were bringing in some candles.

When the room was illuminated again, Tom was dead.

Leslie yelped and everyone jumped in their seats. Andy and Joan Callamezzo leapt back from the table as fake blood poured onto the white cloth. Tom groaned dramatically.

“You’re dead, stop groaning” April shouted. “Unless…oh my god, are you coming back as a zombie?”

“It’s for dramatic effect!” Tom snapped and then promptly fell face down into the table cloth again, a knife sticking out of his back. Ron sighed.

“Obviously, you’ve never seen anyone die before, son.”

Ann’s eyes widened slightly as Ron yanked her away from the table. “Dinner is over.”

The candles in the room all went out in a _whoosh_ and this time there was a lot more shrieking. Joan was gone by the time they got power again (full power this time) and Andy was crying out vengeance on whoever took his dear wife, Madam Francois.

The power went out _again_ and a chair scraped beside Leslie. A hand grabbed hers tightly and pulled her to her feet as the entire group stampeded into the foyer. Their only source of illumination was moonlight and it bathed everything in a blue glow. Someone banged into her and Leslie yelped as Ben scooped her around and pushed her down a dark hallway.

They both gasped for breath.

“I knew I should’ve stayed home” he growled. “I could be at home with a calzone and Blade Runner - ”

“Calzones are pointless. At least you have friends now.”

“Yeah, whatever.” He took a step further away from the foyer and motioned for her to follow, further away from the shrieks. When the sounds from the rest of the group had faded away completely he pulled out a book of matches and lit one. In the flickering light the bags under his eyes were prominent and his cheeks seemed sunken.

“The murderer can get here any time now.”

Leslie bit her tongue to keep from snapping about what a party pooper he was being.

“I want to win, Ben.”

“Good luck with that.”

“Ben!” Leslie touched his arm, but he recoiled in response. She sighed. “Duke! We’re married and you have to help me win. Don’t you want to win?”

“Maybe I’m the murderer.” His tone changed to eerie. Unwillingly, a chill rolled through Leslie.

“You’re not.”

“Are you sure?” In the dim light his dark eyes were almost black. Leslie took a little step back.

“Ben.” Her breath hitched.

He snickered and she smacked his arm. Living with April must be rubbing off on him.

“Beeeeeen. I want to win.”

“Fine. _Fine_. I’ll help you win. Where should we - ”

“To the study! There must be clues in there!”

“Isn’t that just the librar - ”

“It’s _the study_ , Ben. With all the books in it.”

Ben blew out the match and grabbed at the sleeve of her dress to let her lead the way.

*****

There was an old lantern in the study, already lit. Ben picked it up and casually asked what century he had walked into. Leslie ignored the sarcasm and proceeded towards the desk, with papers askew on the surface. She picked one up and examined it carefully. Rain still pattered against the windows and Leslie inhaled sharply when Ben’s arm bumped hers. He was warm and she felt cold all over right now.

If they were still together she might pull his arms around her and press her face to his chest just for a brief moment. If they were still together they’d be exchanging clandestine kisses while the rest of Pawnee was distracted.

Ben opened a drawer and _hmmm_ ed like he was Sherlock Holmes.

“A gun’s missing.”

Leslie and Ben's gazes snapped up at the same time as Ron stepped into the light, Ann right beside him. Leslie shoved Ben aside and ran to Ann, who hugged her with a low chuckle.

“You’re alive - ”

“Leslie, it’s a game - ”

“You don’t let anything happen to her!” Leslie growled at Ron. “Do you hear me, Swanson?”

Ron stared at Leslie hard for a beat and then turned to Ben, ignoring her. “A gun is missing” he repeated. “Probably a glock judging from the size of the case.” Ron pointed to a glass case on the desk with the clear mould of a pistol in the center.

“It is either for a woman or for a man with very small and weak hands.”

His gaze shifted accusingly to Ben, who raised an eyebrow. 

“It’s not - ”

“HIs hands aren’t small.”

Everyone turned to stare at Leslie. Her face grew hot. Okay, she probably shouldn’t have said that. In the dim light it was hard to know for certain, but it seemed like Ben’s ears turned a little pink. Leslie did her best not to think about the size or length of Ben’s hands as they went back to work. It was hard to manage, especially with him standing so close to her and smelling like the aftershave he used to put on in her bathroom with a towel around his waist. The scent would linger in the thick steam from the shower. It would be faded, but still present on his skin by the time he pulled her into closets for making out, or into Ann’s office for handholding.

“If we work together this will be over faster” Ron told to Ben. Ann murmured her agreement and Leslie almost pouted, but she knew Ron better than that. He didn’t want to work together to finish, he wanted to win. Ron Swanson was a man who loved puzzles.

Inside the gun case, Ben plucked at something small and shiny that caught the light. Ann leaned in and frowned.

“A diamond earring? How does someone lose that in a - ”

“It’s a clue!” Ron exclaimed with a giggle. He quickly dropped his voice an octave. “I mean, yes, it seems that is perhaps a clue.”

Ben pocketed it. “We should see if there’s anything else and move on.”

*****

The study was empty of clues, besides the diamond earring, so they made their way back into the hall. Ann, brilliant tree shark that she was, had an incredible suggestion.

“We should go back to the scene of the crime, where Tom was murdered. Maybe the killer left something behind in there.”

Ron murmured his agreement and declared he would lead the way. Ann went next and Leslie found her hand. Ann squeezed reassuringly. It was just a game, but everything felt so real. The power outages, the screaming - it was all a little unnerving. They passed another body on the way to the dining room, and Ben pulled Leslie back as if it was a reflex. It was Chris. He smiled brightly.

“Well, hey gang!”

“Uh, hey” Ben dropped to his knees and started searching the area around them. “Where’s April?”

“Oh, she’s dead too but she’s one of the living dead apparently. Shot as well, tragically. So young and full of life…” Chris glanced wistfully into the blackness. “She said she wanted to make out with Andy and then eat his brains...or something. It was _quite_ disgusting to think about.”

Ben frowned, removing a wad of cash from beneath Chris’s “corpse”. It was not American dollars though, it was Euros. Leslie’s brow furrowed.

“Good job, buddy! You found it!”

“Thanks” Ben stood. “Are you going to be alright there?”

“Oh, I’m fine. I’m sure they’ll come clear me away for the after party soon. I hear there’s pizza and beer, but I do hope they have a healthier option.”

Ben motioned for the group to go on and Leslie did, pressed up against Ann with Ben right behind her.

The dining room was back to the condition it had been in before Tom’s murder, save for the bloodstain soaking into the white linen. They went about examining the every nook and cranny and finding absolutely nothing for the first ten minutes. It was Ann who finally cried out. Everyone ran over. It was the gun, which was curious as Tom had been killed with a knife. Leslie pointed that out and Ben and Ron nodded their agreement. Ann handed Ron the weapon, and he studied it carefully.

“Why not shoot him?” Ron said. “Why move in at close proximity and stab him? It is a foolish move only an amateur would make.”

“Or someone who wants us to think they’re amateur.”

Everyone turned to look at Ben and he shrugged. “I guess we better keep going.”

“Perhaps we should split up. We’ll cover more ground that way. It is a big mansion.”

“Yeah, good idea. We can - ”

“You should stay with Leslie.”

Ben almost glared at Ron. Almost.

“We’ll take upstairs then.”

*****

Ben seemed to get more irritated with every step he took. He grumbled something about a waste of a night and he couldn’t believe they were still doing this. Leslie wanted to ask what had changed in the six and a half minutes since they’d said goodbye to Ron and Ann, but the stairs were a bit precarious and there were some very strange noises coming from down the hall.

When they heard the unmistakable sounds of Mona Lisa Saperstein grunting and groaning at something (or someone) they picked up the pace.

“This is so stupid - ”

“What is your problem!?” Leslie snapped, finally. “We were having fun downstairs and now we’re just...not?”

“I’m tired of it now.”

“It hasn’t even been half an hour.”

“Well...” he gestured between them. “I’m tired of _this_. Being around you is tiring.”

A lump formed in the back of her throat. “I just want to be friends, Ben.”

He mumbled _that’s the problem_. Leslie started to speak again, but Ben yanked her by the waist and pulled her into a dark alcove as a pair of people ran passed, laughing obnoxiously. Jamm, ugh.

Also, for someone who didn’t care about this stupid game he certainly seemed concerned with being a murder victim.

Once Jamm had gone (still making way too much noise) Ben led the way out of their hiding spot and declared the sooner they got started the sooner this would be over with. Now he was grump _and_ a broken record. There were seventeen bedrooms in the mansion and by the time they’d checked six of them the rain was coming down even harder. The dark, overcast sky was so bleary it was more blackhole than cloud and the light from the moon had vanished completely.

It was like Ben’s sour mood had settled overhead. Why had he even come if he wasn’t going to try and enjoy himself?

“Everyone else has probably already given up and the killer won’t ever be found. I’m - ”

“Ben, no! We’re so close.”

“We’re not close at all.”

“We have three huge clues!”

“That lead us no closer to anything. We haven’t even seen anyone besides Jamm in an hour. Leslie, I think this game has died.”

“No! Noooo, Ben, please no. It hasn’t died. We have to win.”

“I don’t want to win. Win on your own.”

“You said you would help me!”

“And I’m done helping you! It’s a stupid game with stupid rules and no one else is playing so no, I don’t want to play anymore. Having to be around you is shitty enough as it is.”

Ben stormed towards the door and Leslie remained rooted to the spot. Her stomach dropped to the floor so quickly she felt dizzy.

“Being around me is shitty.” Just saying the words was a knife to her heart.

“Leslie,” Ben spun. “We aren’t _together_. It’s too hard!”

“It’s not, Ben. It’s just different  - ”

“No! Leslie, it’s hard. It hurts. Being around you hurts and I’m sorry, I can’t do it anymore... I probably shouldn’t have come at all.” He yanked on the door they’d just walked through (that Leslie hadn’t even remembered closing) and it did not budge. Ben blinked and then tried again.

Nothing. It didn't move an inch. Oh no. What if they were in the murderer’s layer? What if this was like a human spider web and their blood was about to be drained from their bodies…

Okay no, it was just game -  

“I think it just stuck." 

Ben groaned dramatically and fell face down onto the massive canopy bed in the center of the room. The old frame squeaked under his weight and Leslie slumped to the mattress as well. The burgundy comforter smelled musty and the black drapes were thick with dust.

“What if the murderer finds us?” She whispered. Ben groaned again.

“Here’s hoping.”

*****

“This sucks.”

“This really, super sucks.”

“We barely ate dinner too. Tom got murdered before I could try the steak.”

Leslie giggled and flopped back beside him. Ben inched a little more away from her. She exhaled.

“I’m sorry being around me sucks.”

Now it was Ben’s turn to sigh. “That’s not your fault. That’s the situation. That’s...what we decided. You wanted to run for office.”

She’d wanted to be with him too. Leslie didn’t say that though. At least not in so many words.

“I wanted both. It wasn’t fair.”

“It was, Leslie. The last thing you need is a scandal.”

She remained silent, so Ben continued.

“You’re coming up in the polls.”

“Barely. Nobody’s excited about my campaign.”

“These things take time.”

Leslie glanced over. Ben’s head was tilted in her direction. The way the moonlight played across his pale skin and angular features, Leslie almost could imagine they were back in her bed so many months ago. Back when Ben would burrow into the blankets like a mole and fail to emerge until the smell of coffee wafted through her house. Leslie had always wondered what he’d be like on cold, rainy nights. She imagined he’d demand lots of cuddles.

“It sucks” he admitted. “It super sucks.”

“Super sucks” Leslie agreed.

“Being around you is hard.”

“I…” she pushed up onto her elbow. “I just need you in my life. You’re too important to me. Being around you is hard, but not being around you at all sucks more.”

“Being around me is just going to screw up your campaign, Leslie. Even if we’re not together someone could infer something, and then there’s a scandal anyway, and…” 

Leslie couldn’t pinpoint the exact moment she decided to kiss him, but she did. She leaned over and slid her mouth against Ben’s. They both sighed as the light brushing of lips slowly built to more. Ben’s hand went to her hair and Leslie moved on top of him, until Ben rolled her back and settled, his body pressed flush against hers.

When she tugged on his bottom lip Ben groaned, and they were done. Clothes few in every direction, getting tossed onto old lamps and tangled in the drapes of the canopy bed. Leslie’s panties disappeared, and Ben’s hand crept up her belly before his mouth descended. 

And then everything else fell away.

It was hard and fast. She came on his tongue and then they were jockeying for position, her hips rocking fast and furious before Ben flipped them and pounded into her. The old mattress springs were beyond creaky and the wood frame moaned and groaned until Leslie shattered in his arms. Ben fell shortly afterwards.

His eyes were heavy, but he spared a second to yank up his boxers and curl around Leslie, the blankets covering them now.

“But…”

“Just go to sleep, Leslie.”

She did.

*****

When she woke up the bed was cold and Ben was gone.  She spun around as if expecting he would magically apparate in one of the corners, but no, Ben was gone. Her heart started to pound just as someone else did against the door. Leslie yelped, realizing that was what had woken her up.

“Ann!” She pulled her clothes on in a hurry and sprinted for the door. “Ann!” She yanked the door so hard it almost fell off its hinges. Ann’s eyes widened at her appearance.

“How did you find me?”

“It was the only room we hadn’t checked. Leslie...what happened?”

“Ben’s gone! He was gone when I woke up!”

Ann’s eyes grew impossibly larger. “You...why were you _sleeping_?”

Oh, crap.

“Leslie - ”

“It just happened!”

“What just happened?” Ron appeared with a screwdriver in hand, his gaze narrowed. Where had he even gotten that? He groaned when he saw Leslie.

“Please tell me what it looks like just happened did not just happen.”

Leslie said nothing and Ron groaned again.

“We better go.”

“Ben’s missing!”

“Then we better find out who the murderer is.”

Oh god, the murderer definitely had Ben. He might be mad at her, but he wouldn’t leave without saying goodbye. Not after they’d just…

She shouldn’t think about that, not right now at least. Having sex with Ben was definitely something that needed to be addressed, but not in this moment. Not in the middle of a game. In this moment what they needed to do was win so Leslie could take Ben out for waffles and they could have an actual conversation.

“Did you find anything else?” Leslie asked as she was ushered out of the bedroom. Ron grunted.

“A pocket square.”

Leslie frowned. Who on earth did they know who would wear a pocket square to a dinner party?

Tom. Tom had been talking about his pocket square choice all night. But Tom was dead, so that ruled him out. Maybe Jamm? Or maybe it was just the character, although no one had been given a costume…

Maybe the pocket square was a victim’s.

“So, what do we have?”

“Monopoly money - ”

“Euros” Ann corrected Ron.

“A diamond earring and a pocket square.”

“And the missing murder weapon.”

“Maybe they’ll be a clue on the gun…”

Wait a minute.

Leslie stopped dead in her tracks. Chris had shown bullet wounds. There'd been a gunshot when Joan disappeared, and Chris said April had been shot too.

“Did you see any other victims?”

“You just walked passed one, Dope.”

Leslie spun and saw Jamm, lying in a corner and texting rapidly. Sure enough, he had fake bullet wounds in his chest and fake blood oozing out of them.

“Shot a few more downstairs too” Jamm explained. “God, you really are so bad at this.”

“I’m not the one who got shot” Leslie retorted. Jamm snorted.

“Whatever, just end this so I can go home. I thought there would be a lot more hot people here and instead I’m stuck staring at you three uggos.”

Leslie wanted to throw a lantern at him, but instead she turned back to the stairs.

“Oh, hey Knope, by the way. What were you doing in that room with Assistant City Butthead for so long?”

Jamm held up his phone to illuminate her face. 

“Cheeks are looking a little red there, Knope - ”

“Conversation over” Ron grabbed Leslie by the elbow and pushed her forward.

They descended down the winding staircase to the main floor and then kept going, through the dining room and towards the back of the property. They encountered Zombie April, who told them everyone else had taken to hiding and she was going to eat their brains.

Ron firmly told her “No” and she said fine, she’d have sex with Andy instead. Ron made a face and went in the other direction. They made it to the French doors leading to the backyard and stared out into the blackness. The heavy rain had turned to sleet and Leslie shivered as she watched it splatter against the windows. She folded her arms over her chest and leaned into the wall as Ann said something about getting coats to search the grounds.

And then the wall moved. It creaked, the panels grating against the wooden floor as they shifted. Leslie shouted and Ann yanked on her arm to save Leslie from falling backwards. Ron stepped where Leslie had been. It was a trap door, and when he pushed a little harder it swung all the way open, revealing another staircase lined with lanterns and cobwebs.

Creepy had just become an understatement. Why did Nick Newport even _have_ this?

Ron led the way and Leslie went next, Ann’s hand clutched tightly in hers. For several minutes they just moved cautiously as the smell of dampness grew stronger and it became harder and harder to see.

Why was Tom stabbed while everyone else was shot. It didn’t make any sense.

Unless the killer wanted to get up close and personal with Tom, as Ron had suggested. Stabbing was more of a challenge...

Unless the killer didn’t _have_ trouble getting access to Tom. Maybe they’d been sitting together before the knife went in. Who had Tom been beside at dinner? Someone with a pocket square?

It hit her like a wall of bricks when the stairs levelled off and they heard loud, stilted laughter in the distance.

The killer _was_ Tom. That explained the diamond and the pocket square. The Euros…

“Tommy boy you sure know how to throw a murder p-to-the-a-to-the-r-t-y!”

Jean Ralphio. That explained the cash.

“We should go - ”

“Not until I murder the one that is always rhyming” Ron took a step forward, just as new footsteps appeared from Leslie’s left.

“Hey” the voice announced their arrival. “Did you find the trapdoor in that bedroom too - ?”

“BEN!” Leslie spun, leaping into his arms and pressing her lips to his. He didn’t kiss back, but he did not pull away either as his hands slid down her sides.

“Whoooooa. I knew it” Tom said. Leslie pulled away and Ben rubbed his mouth.

“You’re the murderer.”

“Yeah, and you better starting running or I’ll murder you before you tell anyone.”

Tom waggled a toy gun in front of them, which Ron promptly snatched out of his hands.

“The game is over.”

“Awwww, Ron, it’s still - ”

“It’s nearly dawn” Ann stifled a yawn. “We win, game over.”

Tom stepped into a beam of light and lowered his head.

“Yeah, that’s right. It was I, Tom Haverford: billionaire and multi-platinum recording artist. I faked my own death and murdered a bunch of you because you were stalking me, and I’m going to win the prize - ”

“The prize is a Knope 2012 Campaign T-Shirt and a gift certificate to JJ’s” Ben said. Tom and Jean Ralphio exchanged a look.

“Seriously?”

“I paid money for this?”

“It’s for charity and campaign exposure.”

“And it doesn’t matter; you lost.” Ron grabbed Tom by the ear and he whined. “Let’s go, murderer.”

*****

They let Ron have the gift certificate. That man could eat a lot of bacon and eggs, after all.

The sun was rising by the time they were all excused from the party. Some people were still covered in fake blood, others were stumbling through the main doors leaning on their friends. Ben walked beside Leslie, not saying anything.

“We raised over $2,000” she told him. He glanced sideways at her and inclined his head slightly.

“That’s great.”

“I meant what I said. I do miss you.”

Ben sighed heavily. “Leslie...”

“I do.” The words caught in her throat. Ben swallowed audibly and there was a long pause.  

“I...I am glad I came” he tried to smile, but it was as if his mouth didn’t have the energy to tug upwards. “It was fun.”

Leslie squeezed her eyes shut and nodded as his warm fingers curled around her cool ones. It wasn’t enough - it never would be - but it was something. They strolled down the walk to their respective cars, parked in the Newports’ driveway. The rain had cleared and the early morning sun thawed her extremities.  

Ben gave her a small smile before he released her completely. Leslie watched him climb into his Saturn with a brief wave.

Later, between bites of waffles, she would cry about what she’d had that she didn’t have any more. 

But for now she was going to cherish those few hours she’d shared with Ben, working as a team again.


End file.
